Isn’t it incredible that the female body can grow an entire human in just nine short months? It never ceases to amaze me, but what amazes me even more is just how much one tiny person can grow, develop and change in just nine short months…
To my baby boy,
I’m laid with you in the dark. You’re fast asleep on my chest, nestled as if you were just a newborn. Admittedly, you’d now be the world’s largest newborn, but the way you curl up your chunky legs and rest your forever warm and a little bit sweaty head on me, you’d think you were still brand new. The landing light is casting shadows on your tiny perfect face and I’m examining every last detail. I could stay here for forever soaking up your fleeting baby-ness. Your big sister is squeezed against me, she’s in that sweaty stage of sleep just after she’s nodded off and I’m certain she’ll roll over any minute now, but for now I’m happy to have you both so close. Your little fingers are tangled in my hair and your chest rises and falls with each deep sleepy breath. If I could, I’d soak up every last moment here with you both and and collect them in a tiny bottle and I’d stash it away at the back of a drawer and one day when you’re both grown up and no longer wanting to cuddle your Mama at bedtime I’d open up that little bottle and take a drink and I’d be right back here in this very moment, in this very bed on this very night because there really is no where else I’d rather be.
How is it that you’ve been in the great wide world for nine months already? It seems like only days ago you were tucked up in my belly, safe and warm, exchanging little nudges just you and me. I can’t believe it has taken me this long to write to you but the past nine months have been a total whirlwind. I feel like it was only a second ago when I first laid eyes on your perfect little face and you looked up at me and I knew instantly that I would love you for an eternity.
You are your big sister’s double; the worlds smiliest baby, mark two. You share the same huge brown eyes and the cheekiest of grins. You have a smile and a quick exchange of extremely interesting babble for everyone you meet. You melt the coldest of hearts – you even managed a wink from a grumpy old gent in the shop the other day! People comment on just how happy you are and I honestly feel as if I’ve had the same baby twice, although you love food way more than your sister does!
You don’t sleep all night, but that’s okay. The days and nights are long but the years, they are so short. You need your Mama and I need you, my cuddly little dumpling. It’s actually scientifically proven that us Mamas are addicted to our newborns and here we are nine months later and that addiction hasn’t faltered at all. I’m adding you to my endless list (chocolate, Diet Coke, carbs, etc). You wiggle and moan in the early hours and part of me despairs – please just let me sleep. But I scoop you up, hold you close and you instantly relax like that was all you ever needed. I could never deny you that.
You seem to have grown up much quicker than your big sis. I guess you have her there to show you the ropes. I hope she continues to do that until you’re all grown up, I do love watching you both together. But please slow down little man, I so desperately want you to stay my baby. There is no rush to be a big boy.
You are properly crawling all over the place now (i.e. face planting anything that is sure to bruise you), although you have been on the move in a rather unconventional way for months now. You would switch from rolling to bum shuffling to commando crawling but you have now totally cracked it. That poor Christmas tree felt your wrath as does the dog most days, it’s a good job he loves you and that you enjoy a doggy kiss every now and again. You have six teeth and wear 12-18 month clothes. You can clap, wave, shake your head for ‘no’ and babble like a champ. You are forever shouting Nora, Dada and Baba but you totally refuse to say Mama. Don’t worry, your sis shouts me more than enough times a day to make up for that!
I never knew that I could love another little person as much as I adore your big sister but you came along and proved me wrong. The day you were born my heart doubled in size. You are everything I never knew I needed. We love you so much Woody John. Happy 9 months earth-side.
Your Mama ❤️